Sunday in Spring

It has been just over a year since my mother died on the eleventh anniversary of my only sister's death. Then just a few months after I lost my mother, my mother-in-law succumbed to bone cancer. My husband left me. This has been the most difficult year of my life. Nothing ever gets any easier. I am changing from a woman who used to pride myself on being kind and compassionate to someone who is angry and bitter and disappointed. I can no longer tolerate the small things that people do. Everything bothers me. I just want to get away from everyone and everything in my life and I know that I cannot. I am trapped in my own life. I desperately want to stop feeling this way. I have prayed about it. Meditated. Talked. Nothing helps. Nothing gets better. I am sliding ever further into the pit of my own despair. I don't know how to fix it. I wish I did.